My X Factor

Watching the new Fox show “The X Factor” categorized people for me into a very narrow perspective. Of course there are spectrums and variations, but when it comes to self-confidence and anxiety, they can be categorized into five types of people:

1.        The person who has accomplishments, abilities and talents and who knows it and has the self-confidence and ego resulting from it.

2.        The person who is untalented and unaccomplished, but who sincerely believes that they are talented and accomplished.

3.        The person who believes that they are talented simply because others delude the individual and convince them that they have a gift that they really don’t have.

4.        The person who has accomplishments, abilities and talents, knows it, is told it by others, everyone believes in them, but despite it all, they do not believe nor can they accept that they are who they are, have done what they’ve done, and can believe in their achievements.

I watched as a girl took the stage and said that she had done so because she was encouraged by her mother. She expressed her lack of self-confidence and anxiety, and believed she would fail. But when she opened her mouth to sing, her voice soared. That girl was extremely talented. And the judges were blown away and told her how great she was. But the girl just did not believe it. for some reason, she could not accept that she was actually as talented as they said she was. They believed in her, but she did not believe in herself. And all of the belief and confidence imbued by others can never effect what is really needed – for the person to believe in themselves.

The girl fell into the fourth category I described. And so do I. My wife believes in me, that I am the best husband and life partner. My children believe in me, that I am the best father. My siblings believe in me, that I am the best brother. My employer believes in me, that I am the best employee. My employees believe in me, that I am the best boss and supervisor. My neurologist, who is also a family friend – believes in me, that I am the most capable and together one of my entire family. And my accomplishments show it: the home I’ve created, the marriage I’ve built, the business I’ve established, grew and now successfully run, and my physique that I’ve worked to maintain.

The facts show it and everyone else sees it and believes it. But there’s one more person who still needs to believe – and not just know – it. That person is me. And once I do learn to accept everything I am and have accomplished, I will learn to enjoy it. But for now, my subconscious believes falsely that the emotion of happiness about my life and joy and appreciation about what I’ve accomplished need to be suppressed. But it is slowly learning and being reconditioned to access those emotions and to feel self-sufficient and accomplished and to walk tall and sincerely internalize who I am, what I’ve done, how I feel about it, and how much more I can do and become. The train is in motion and all of the facts are lined up. Even my conscious brain is on board. Now all that’s left is for my subconscious to join the ride. And I know it will, because whatever it is doing now is simply a result of conditioning ad is not hardwired. And the brain takes very fast to reconditioning. Longer than we hope, but faster than we expect.

All aboard the ME express!