That said, where I stand now, is that all of
that self-work has brought things to a point of stability, a jumping off point
from where I now need to grow and progress as a person, as a man, as a
30-year-old, as a husband, as a father, as an employee, and as an
employer. But once the drowning person gets out of the quicksand, the
motivation to go any further than the dry beach can wear off, because the
relief of no longer being sucked into the eternal abyss of darkness sucks the
motivation to advance right out of you.
But fortunately (and, debatably, unfortunately), my mind is on a roll now, and is not content with standing still. My worst nights were the last few in which I had no anxiety or thoughts to address. And at just about the same time, my jaw tension returned with a vengeance, and some symptoms of anxiety have come as well. Which is what I was getting at earlier: my body senses anxiety before my conscious mind is aware of it. That’s because the nerves react to the subconscious brain even before the conscious brain knows what is happening. So for me, the key is to see past it all and look for the message that my body is giving me: that I have unresolved anxiety, frustration, and other strong emotions that are causing my nerves to react, which are causing my muscles to hold tension and stress, and which are causing me to clench my jaw in my sleep – the exact time of day that only the subconscious brain is in control. So it’s obvious that my subconscious is feeling some anxiety and is causing reactions to it – and instead of becoming anxious about those symptoms or running to doctors to treat the very symptoms of anxiety – I am listening to my brain and to my body and looking for the anxiety and strong feelings that it is holding and trying to address them.
But just like with the major anxiety disorder that I have recovered from, there is no quick fix, and the underlying anxiety has to go before the symptoms. Since the anxiety needs to go first, it is imperative that the vicious cycle resulting from allowing the symptoms of anxiety, as emotionally or physically painful as they may be at times, from resulting in their own anxiety. I will and am beginning to identify, target, uncover and address the anxiety my brain is holding so that I will have more restful sleep, more relaxed muscles, calm nerves, and a more positive and progressive view of myself and my life. And, as always, it is a slow and gradual process, and it is important to stay the course.
Importantly, I will also be working on encouraging my subconscious that even when there is some level of stress and anxiety, there is no need for the intensity that it displays in the form of holding tension in my body, muscle spams, etc. There are ways to deal with things, and the instinct should not be physiological effects in the form of pain, tension, discomfort, etc.
So the journey onward and upward starts now. I have identified two beliefs that I hold onto that color my life and my outlook, and I will begin the process of challenging and disproving those beliefs, and then changing them. Changing the cognition will, as proven, modify the resulting behaviors, both physical and emotional, and will thus result in a happier, more quality-filled life. Here goes!
But fortunately (and, debatably, unfortunately), my mind is on a roll now, and is not content with standing still. My worst nights were the last few in which I had no anxiety or thoughts to address. And at just about the same time, my jaw tension returned with a vengeance, and some symptoms of anxiety have come as well. Which is what I was getting at earlier: my body senses anxiety before my conscious mind is aware of it. That’s because the nerves react to the subconscious brain even before the conscious brain knows what is happening. So for me, the key is to see past it all and look for the message that my body is giving me: that I have unresolved anxiety, frustration, and other strong emotions that are causing my nerves to react, which are causing my muscles to hold tension and stress, and which are causing me to clench my jaw in my sleep – the exact time of day that only the subconscious brain is in control. So it’s obvious that my subconscious is feeling some anxiety and is causing reactions to it – and instead of becoming anxious about those symptoms or running to doctors to treat the very symptoms of anxiety – I am listening to my brain and to my body and looking for the anxiety and strong feelings that it is holding and trying to address them.
But just like with the major anxiety disorder that I have recovered from, there is no quick fix, and the underlying anxiety has to go before the symptoms. Since the anxiety needs to go first, it is imperative that the vicious cycle resulting from allowing the symptoms of anxiety, as emotionally or physically painful as they may be at times, from resulting in their own anxiety. I will and am beginning to identify, target, uncover and address the anxiety my brain is holding so that I will have more restful sleep, more relaxed muscles, calm nerves, and a more positive and progressive view of myself and my life. And, as always, it is a slow and gradual process, and it is important to stay the course.
Importantly, I will also be working on encouraging my subconscious that even when there is some level of stress and anxiety, there is no need for the intensity that it displays in the form of holding tension in my body, muscle spams, etc. There are ways to deal with things, and the instinct should not be physiological effects in the form of pain, tension, discomfort, etc.
So the journey onward and upward starts now. I have identified two beliefs that I hold onto that color my life and my outlook, and I will begin the process of challenging and disproving those beliefs, and then changing them. Changing the cognition will, as proven, modify the resulting behaviors, both physical and emotional, and will thus result in a happier, more quality-filled life. Here goes!
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