Before doing so, a reminder: worrying about what could or
might be is not helpful, so it is important that all focus goes on what is and
is geared toward problem solving, not worry!
The following are the two false beliefs that I discovered I
hold onto and will begin and continue to challenge and change. But before that,
I must premise with the fact that breaking out of anxiety means accepting
reality. And accepting reality means just that – accepting the facts and the
truths which although they are usually average or exceptionally good, can also
be negative. Usually the negative is not too bad, but at times it can be. The
alternative to accepting that reality is anxiety, which keeps you in your head.
Breaking out of it means seeing things as they really are – for better or for
worse it hurts, but that’s just how it has to be; the alternative is to live in
a bubble of anxiety, afraid of reality, and trying to worry away the truth. But
as we know by now, that is not helpful or realistic, and is even more
distressing than the truth. Knowing that the truth and reality is better than
anxiety, we can proceed. The process will include triumph and joy, and
occasional inconvenient truths. But most of life is mostly good most of the
time, so it’s not that bad for the most part. But at least it’s the truth. And
as a bonus, acknowledging the truth and getting away from anxiety will
automatically help relieve the symptoms of anxiety which at the end of the day
are the root of most if not all of my problems. With that premise internalized
and seen as the positive thing they are, here are the false beliefs that we
will not address and challenge, and as a result, live a more realistic, content
life, and be able to progress from here:
False belief number one is:
The default of life is perfection and evenness, and, thus,
the goal of life is to either ruin it by making bad choices, or to improve it
by making positive, helpful choices.
A good example of the false belief is health-related.
According to the false belief, everyone should be born and live more or less
healthy, unless, G-d forbid, someone is inflicted with the rare serious
illness. Health would start to deteriorate gradually with age, but there are
medications and treatments that could help manage, control, treat and cure the
various health conditions that come up. If a person makes bad choices such as
to abuse drugs or alcohol, eat unhealthy foods, or have an unhealthy lifestyle,
then they are putting themselves at risk of being unhealthy. And if a person
wants to be more healthy than average, then they would have to make
exceptionally good choices which include eating extremely healthfully,
exercising often, and taking good care of themselves.
Other such examples would include financial stability and
emotional happiness.
The fact is:
That the default is whatever G-d gives a person throughout
their lives which can change at any time and is never guaranteed. The choices
people make can help ensure that they did whatever they could to have the best
shot at a healthy, financially stable live, but it is no guarantee. Eating
healthy, not smoking or abusing alcohol or drugs are what the person can
control as far as health is concerned, and that’s the best we can do. The rest
is in G-d’s hands, and we are thankful each day for what He grants us, we pray
for the improvement of what is not perfect in our eyes, and we hope and pray
that what is good continues to be good and only gets better.
False belief number two is:
One can only progress and advance from a point of stability
and perfection. In other words, in order to proceed in life and advance, one
must first ensure that their life as it is perfect, that there are no
outstanding issues that need to be resolved, and that everything is stable.
Like when climbing a mountain, the climber first needs to ensure that they have
a stable foothold before proceeding to take the next step.
The fact is:
There is no such thing as stability and perfection in life.
There is always a challenge that needs to be addressed, always room for
improvement, and always something that could be better than it is. That’s life.
We are put on earth to take an imperfect world and make it more perfect than
when we got here; we are made imperfectly with the goal to take the best care
we can of our bodies and souls; we do our best to raise our children; we make
the wisest investment and business decisions we can. But the results are in
G-d’s hands. We do our best with what we have and we pray that G-d bless our
work and make it successful. That’s the best we can do as human beings, and
that’s what we are expected to do.
And since things will never reach a state of absolute
perfection so long as we are flawed human beings living in an imperfect world
and in exile, we can only hope to do our best, but we must continue to try and
grow and improve all the time without waiting for that magical point of
perfection and stability from which to proceed and advance. That’s because
there isn’t any. This world and our lives are a work in progress at all times.
If we wait for that stability we will remain stuck for eternity because that
point will never come.
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