Avoiding the Anxiety Snowball Effect

Now the topic at hand is challenging two of my false beliefs that I hold that will target some of my anxiety. I need to focus on targeting my anxiety and, as a result, on calming my nerves, because I realize that I am holding onto anxiety in the following ways:

1.     I am holding tension in my jaw

2.     My eyelid keeps fluttering/twitching

3.     I feel tightness in my neck/shoulders/upper back

4.     I feel occasional spasms in various areas

5.     I am having intense, disturbed sleeps

First, it is extremely important that I ensure that these symptoms do not induce their own anxiety, since they themselves are symptoms of anxiety and will subside together with the anxiety. They key is to target, identify, address and eliminate the underlying anxiety, and as a result, the symptoms of anxiety will disappear as well as has been proven time and again in the past.

But first, realized something:

Anger and frustration about what I am enduring, and about what others are enduring, is not helpful. It will not change anything for me or for them. So I need to work on acceptance of what does or does not apply to me, and to focus on working to make the best of it.

So the first thing I am going to do not, is understand that anything I am feeling now is simply a result of anxiety and will only make things worse if they trigger their own anxiety. I will let them come and go, flow with them, accept them and let them pass when they are ready. They are simply a nervous reaction to anxiety and will pass with the anxiety. All focus will go toward the root cause – the anxiety itself.

Secondly, I accept my reality for what it is, and I am thankful that it is as good as it is, and not any worse, and that the bad is not that bad and is far from as bad as it could be. I am also thankful that even the bad, as uncomfortable and painful as it could be at times, is nothing more than a symptom of anxiety, and that I have the proven tools for dealing with anxiety.

Thirdly, I am infinitely thankful that in so short a time – less than 3 months – I have been able to successfully get myself out of the abyss of extreme anxiety and panic – the type that was so bad, that death seemed like a blessing. I lived in emotional darkness and was agoraphobic of my bedroom and my office. I saw the possibility of getting hit by a truck as a blessing which tells you how bad I felt at times. Now, I am out of the emotional abyss, and it cannot be said that it was the absence of triggers as has been in the past during anxiety downtimes, rather now G-d has shown me in the way of intense symptoms, that the anxiety level itself, and the anxiety auto-reaction has subsided substantially. This is actually a blessing in disguise because absent it I really had no way of knowing whether the underlying anxiety was actually addressed, or whether it was simply a break in the symptoms. Now I can say for certain that the extreme anxiety has been drastically reduced and controlled.