What’s amazing though, is that one can ask why I couldn’t just do this from day 1? Or why can’t the self-help books simply say to do this? But the fact is that the process is an evolution. What works today would not work without all of the preceding exercises that led to it. It’s a gradual process of chipping away at the big issue, hitting plateaus, having setbacks, fighting on, trying different techniques, discovering new methods and avenues of approach, and eventually using all of the knowledge and tools to correct or manage the condition. Like when climbing a ladder, you’ve got to climb the first rung and each rung in between before reaching the top. Trying to skip to the end without going through the middle just does not work. It’s what I call a meat grinder, slowly grinding away at the issues until a final resolution.
And I must say that as hopeful as I am, I am not delusional, in that I don’t pretend to know for certain that this is the end of the battle or that there will ever be one. What I do know is that each tool is helpful and each victory is permanent and has an effect in the long run. I also know that I may have to work for the rest of my life to manage the condition.
However, on a more positive note, I do know that:
• If I will have to manage the condition for the rest of my life, it will get easier because practice, habit, repetition and routine makes things easier, and the tools are always there, so management should not be a struggle eternally, or at least not as big of a struggle as time goes on.
• It is something that I believe could really be corrected because, unlike many other physical or psychological conditions, this is a learned behavior, and anything learned could be relearned. Beliefs that trigger one reaction could be changed and modified and reinforced, resulting in changed behaviors. Granted, I believe that I am genetically predisposed to worry, but predisposed does not mean that I am helpless and hopeless. It simply means that I have the increased potential to, but that same potential can be harnessed and fed with the proper beliefs to enable it to be focused in the right direction. Unfortunately, that potential that I was born with was enhanced and enabled by my childhood (due to my father who had the same genetic predisposition and resulting behaviors), but it’s never too late to change. In fact, I see in my oldest son the same potential that I was born with, but I also see how, with the right upbringing, and by supplying him with the right mental tools to harness that nature, I can help him avoid the path that I went through and am currently struggling with.
Just stumbled upon your blog and read some of the articles. Had the same exact problems start one and a half year ago and am still finding my way out. These days I had a setback (which usually result in googling stuff) so I found you. The meds have helped me for a period of time but in the last six months I developed views on them that are quite similar to yours. This is one of those setbacks that make it look like I am never going to come out of the tunnel definitely (even though I know that the tunnel itself is an illusion created mostly in compartment to the good old days without anxiety that are idealized and distorted picture of previous life). How do you deal with setbacks and can you make a short compendium of practical advice, exercises that help you (If you are interested I can share mine).
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